Flesh and ice

till the hammer reaches inside
keep hitting the human fat
it will not budge otherwise
and needs that touch

that touch of iron
will only thaw it
for it has frozen beyond levels
of body heat
and the blood has become white
you can only see the ice now
flesh and ice

so the emotions are obviously dead
for a long time there was no human touch
so I froze
even though every thing seems intact
for ice can even keep
the dead body alive

it needs to survive
as the brain is not dead yet

not completely a vegetable yet.

Vitiligo

skipping a few breathes
the sweat trickles down the neck
down the cleavage
and onto the midrib
it dries up fast before it goes further

the salt remains
like the patch of vitiligo
white on brown skin

aesthetically speaking
it is appealing
this combination of colours…….
not the white
not the brown
but the two together

not for long though
till one over powers the other
and there you are then
either brown
or white.

Freeze me

embalm me with anesthesia
and put me in the cold store
and nail it like a coffin
I will be comfortable
away in hibernation
alone in solitude

let the amnesia take over me complete
let the breathe pause for sometime
the heart is so tired of pumping
let the body go numb
like the brain has
it is sick of the thought process-
and has over worked itself

everything needs rest now
it is high time
and the timing is right

do it before I harm myself further
further with the dagger of fear
further by prejudice of others

and when I have been put away
lock the door with a Chinese lock
and forget the code

let me remain in the cold
for the fire has burnt out
and the soul just flew away

its all cold inside
for I have frozen already

such a sick mind
should not be let out in the open

do it before I harm you
before the cold reaches you
much before the chosen time

let the room be underground
far away from life
where no light can reach
no human can discover

when you reach ground level
cover the opening
cover it with concrete
so that if a seed by mistake be dropped
need not intrude the earth and create life

it is best the frozen body be undisturbed
unless a volcano erupts.

Do it now
the timing is right.

The street down below

the nerves are calm
and the breathing is silent

all is very quiet
intervaled by the honking motorbikes
and the vegetable vendor shouting
rather pleading

and then the nieghbour's child cries
another two wheeler zooming by

nothing will let me be by myself
and the quietness

at times it soothes me
this quietness
trapped within the walls

no physical touch
no embrace
no kiss

all that touches me
are my clothes
the sanitary napkin
the sweat
and the chappals

no it is nothing human
yet it all surrounds me

the voice of the unknown vendor
entering my room
the excitement of the children
playing down below

and now the neighbour's bell rings
I can hear one of them lock the scooter
another shuts the door
somewhere the pressure cooker whistles

in between this hussle of life
there are intervals of silence
moments when I am with myself
and moments which pull me away from it.

Away II

the nipples are hard
and the lips are swollen
I am naked
and the bed is lonely………
the house has never been
so quiet……..

sometimes the phone rings
and its never you ??????

a surprise would be nice
a dozen more days
a dozen more nights
and two hundred and eighty eight hours to go…..

I promise
I’ll never stay away from you EVER.